Rearing Competent Children

Rearing Competent Children

Why no new blog entries for a week?

My blog has been quiet for a week because I am in New York City with a group of ten high school seniors.  My husband and I are organizing and chaperoning their senior trip.

I taught six of the students we have with us when they were in elementary school.  Two of them were in a Kindergarten music class I was assigned to cover during one of my classroom teaching years. Those two plus one more were in a first grade class I taught.  Five of the ten were in my mainstream classroom for their 5th and 6th grade years.

There is a unique and I think interesting perspective that comes from reconnecting years later with people whom you taught as children.  It gives a chance to see the results of seeds planted by you and others along the path of each one’s journey into young adulthood.

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The goal is competence

We all want school children to get good grades; to memorize those spelling words, math facts, presidents, states and capitols; and to learn to turn in assignments on time. Parent Teacher Conference topics range from social skills to attitude issues to messy desks.   All those skills and minor goals are part of reaching toward a loftier, more over-arching goal.  We need to turn children needing our guidance and advice at every turn into young adults who are competent to stand on their own two feet and make good decisions, asking for help when they need it and able to navigate the difficulties and challenges which come into everyone’s life.

This group proved to me they have learned the lesson well

Yesterday my wonderful, map-reading, subway-navigating husband was down with a foul bug and had to stay behind in the hotel.  That left me to take our group into the city for the day’s activities. Alone, I could not have pulled it off.  But with me were ten capable high school seniors, ready to use their areas of strength to make up for my areas of weakness.

I am not up for the task of navigation, but I know two of the students have shown a keen interest in learning the layout of the city and how to read the maps. Map reading becomes their job.

I am not great at the subway, but one of the girls has made herself a student of the way subway stops work, and how to know when to get on and off.  She tracks our progress and tells us when it is time to get off.

I cannot both lead the way and watch our backs, but the tallest guy is willing to bring up the rear of our group, shepherding the slower ones through heavy foot traffic of Times Square’s five o’clock hour and counting people at each turn to be sure our whole group makes it together. He makes sure we don’t loose anyone.

Others shoulder tasks and take care of each other during times of need.  In short, this little group of seniors shows competence.  They step up and do what needs to be done, and our entire group benefits. The day was a success, despite the challenges it brought.

I would say the seeds planted in these students by so many teachers and family members are flourishing.  It is a beautiful thing to stand in the midst of this group of teens on a rainy New York City afternoon and think I may have had a tiny part in bringing them to this point. How glad I am to be a teacher.

Welcome to Holland

Welcome to Holland

This is one of my favorite stories to share with parents who have a child that is just being diagnosed with dyslexia.  It seems to help put into perspective how their journey in child rearing will be different from parents of a nondyslexic child. 

Welcome to Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared this unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel, what it’s like.

When you’re going to have a baby, its like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy.  You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans.  The Coliseum.  The Michelangelo David.  The gondolas in Venice.  You may learn some phrases in Italian.  It’s all very exciting.

After many months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.  You pack your bags, and off you go.  Several hours later, the plane lands.  The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?”  you say.  “What do you mean, Holland?!?  I signed up for Italy.  I’m supposed to be in Italy.  All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan.  They’ve landed in Holland, and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease.  It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks.  And you must learn a whole new language.  And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place.  It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.  But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice Holland has windmills…Holland has tulips…Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going fro Italy…and they’re all bragging about what  a wonderful time time they have had there.  And the rest of your life you’ll say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go.  That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

Guest Blog – From a Parent’s Perspective

Guest Blog – From a Parent’s Perspective

Today’s blog is written by a parent of one of my dyslexic students.  She shares her heart and the struggles and triumphs her family has seen in their journey with their daughter’s dyslexia.  

Overwhelmed and helpless

“A feeling of overwhelming helplessness consumed me as my wonderfully creative and talented second grade daughter continued to get more and more behind in school.  Every day was a challenge.  Our whole life revolved around how to get through homework and studying for tests. We would spend hours upon hours practicing and memorizing only to have to start from scratch the next day because all of it was forgotten. Hardly a day went by without my daughter crying from frustration, headaches, stomachaches, and frankly exhaustion, which would lead to occasional tant and screaming. It seemed I was constantly saying things like “just focus” and “try harder.”

Could it be dyslexia?

Dyslexia had been in the back of my mind since my daughter’s kindergarten year, but you hear so many times that school struggles are common at that age and children will usually grow out of them, so we waited to see improvement as we continued to work with her.

One day after school Bella cried all the way home because SHE, a normally very outgoing and confident child, suddenly had a very bad case of low self-esteem and was calling herself things like “dumb” and “stupid.” That, as you can imagine, absolutely broke this mother’s heart! I was determined to find the root of her learning problems and scheduled an array of testing.

The result was Dyslexia. Now we move forward.

I actually felt relief at the diagnosis because at least now we knew we could do something about it. We enrolled our daughter at the school where Mrs. Cindy is the director of the Dyslexia Intervention Center. From day one we knew it was the right place.  The school staff makes learning so much fun and enjoyable and the kids feel like they are all part of a little family.  The entire staff is so warm and caring and passionate about teaching our children.  Mrs. Cindy, Mrs. Sally (her school tutor), and Mrs. Z (her regular classroom teacher) work with Bella each week and have made such a difference in the quality of not only Bella’s life but our entire family.

Now Bella is reading at a much higher level than before and there is actually time to stop and enjoy the small things together.  The Dyslexia Center staff have even helped me learn how to make homework super fun!  My little girl’s confidence is revived, and she is gaining more confidence every day.  Sometimes when my daughter reads a long word out correctly, she looks up at me with astonished eyes and smiles as if she’s thinking, “Did I really do that???!!!”